Monday, November 30, 2009

10 years? Really?

Hello everyone,

First of all, THANK YOU for reading this. It means that you still have faith in me and keep checking back to see if I have updated my blog! Sorry this is a long post, but I feel that I owe you that!

It has been a very tough couple of months. I started having energy crashes again. For those who have read my earlier posts, you know that this has been a challenge for the last two years. The good news (and the bad news) is my doctors could find nothing in my bloodwork to explain it this time.

So, I have chalked it up to having one child home at all times and the challenges that come with that, the change of season and just having an erratic sleep schedule. As much as I adore and cherish being with my children, I never have time to myself. My husband has been wonderful as always in helping me find some again. Nothing exciting. No shopping sprees or spas. However, a tiny bit of girl time with friends and sleeping in on weekends. I love him for it. Things are starting to look up! I am also forcing myself through the fatigue, while still caring for myself, as I MUST prepare for Christmas!

My uncle passed away in early November, four and a half months after my father. They were best friends. He was not "technically" my uncle as he was not a blood relative. However, he has been a part of my life since birth. He and his wonderful wife were chosen to be my guardians should anything have happened to my parents.

I attended the wake and funeral out-of-state as did my mother and my sister. My sister attended just the wake as she had to get home for work obligations early the following morning. This gave my mother and I some quality time, just the two of us, in a hotel and on the drive back to her home afterwards. We talked like old friends and even compared birth stories! It's amazing what you think you will NEVER talk about with your parents and then you do!

I was very blessed that I was able to say goodbye to my Uncle Cass. My dear husband took two days off of work to care for our children back here.

Fast forward to the present. After Malcolm, Harry and Lilly had the flu, Andy skipped it and went straight to pneumonia and Lilly's flu turned INTO pneumonia, our family recovered and celebrated Thanksgiving at my father's favorite restaurant. While we usually have Thanksgiving at either my sister's or my parents' home, but this year was the first one without Dad. So, we decided to do something different.

I thought of him as I took my last sip of coffee after dessert. He loved to eat, especially dessert. I was sorry he couldn't enjoy the delicious food with us. I also missed catching up with him. He enjoyed our children and would always ask my husband how his job is going. He would then listen intently to our long answers to his questions, hanging on every word!

This Wednesday is my sweet girl's 10th birthday. I look at her and I don't know where the time went. Ten years ago, here she was, a brand new baby with the most beautiful fingers you've ever seen. I noticed how her nails looked manicured as I nursed her for the first few times. I fell in love instantly as you do with your children. We were all learning together what it meant to go from a couple to a family.

Her toddler years were filled with what seemed like nonstop tantrums, but I managed to see the joy in these years as well. I kept in mind that after all, Lilly is an emotional, bright, empathic, strong-willed, confident young lady. Although she was an early and eloquent speaker, she did not have a handle on her strong emotions. This is something we still struggle with together.

As she grew, she made friends (some of whom she still has!), became a big sister three times and learned to read and write. Her artwork still never ceases to amaze me. Her lifelong imagination for story-telling/writing and creating whatever she wanted from scratch has continued to help her flourish as a student. She plays the violin and is almost a black belt in karate (whenever she decides to put her mind to it, she can test for it and become one...there's the strong-will again). She is also a quick study with everything including her birthday present, a Ripstik. For those who are not familiar, a Ripstik is a combination of a skateboard and a snowboard that you use on pavement. She's just about mastered it in the few days that she's had it!

She has been sporting a teenage vocabulary ("That's not fair.", "All of my friends have one/are allowed to do it.") and behavior (slamming doors, telling her friends how mean her parents are) since about age 7. I am worried what real teenhood has in store for us, but on the other hand, could it get any harder than this? Maybe, but I don't want it to be any other way.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie! You're my favorite 10-year-old! Mom and Dad love you very much and are so, so proud of you!